Albus Potter's Rules to Get Girls
by Codename Jellybean
Summary: Short ScoRose one shot :). Rose has always thought of Scorpius Malfoy as the boring, wallflower guy who was her cousin's best friend. Scorpius Malfoy has just hired his best mate, Albus Potter, to get him the girl of his dreams. A Quidditch match, a rowdy Bludger, and a tenacious (and irritating) Albus all help make s happen.


**Yay ScorpiusxRose! Viva la ScorpiusxRose! I should probably stop this AN now! Onward ho!**

Life is terrible. It's like everyone is good at something but me, Rose thought dejectedly in the midst of an impromtu study session at the library.

'Oy, Rosie, whatcha doing?' Hugo asked, pouncing up on her. With a gasp she upended the table before realising that he was her brother, not some creepy stalker.

'Nothing much...don't you have a Gobstones club meeting or something to be going to?' She asked. Thirteen year old Hugo was her brother, but as a girl with a life of her own, he was also quite a pain.

He showed this by scratching his armpit as he continued. Rose wrinkled her nose pointedly, but he obliviously said 'Albus needs you to play some Quidditch, he doesn't have enough team mates or something. He wanted you instead of me, although you're absolutely terrible at... Well, basically everything...'

Didn't he know that Rose was already in a bad mood? 'Where?' She asked, ignoring his profuse insults, now about her bushy red hair that looked like troll fungus according to him.

'The lake,' he said. 'Now, sorry, Rose, but I have better, more important tihngs to do with my life. Things like...um...' Hugo said, walking away.

She was back into her misery-wallowing reverie as she walked down the steps from the Great Hall. And Aunt Ginny has the most amazing hair, why can't I have hers? So does Albus...with his thick black mop...his friends do, too...

The sky was clear blue, with fat, puffy cumulus clouds reflecting into the Lake. A group of ten or so boys, including Albus, were unpacking Quidditch balls. Miranda Chang, Albus' girlfriend was lounging around with them.

'Rose!' Albus said, a bit too loudly. 'Fancy seeing you here. I thought you wouldn't play.' The look on his face said he had hoped she wouldn't have played.

'You thought wrong, Albus. That's why I'm the Racenclaw.' She said, setting her books down on the grass. She adjusted her robes and said 'So who's on which team?'

Please let me be on a team with a good player, please...she prayed.

'Um, Scorpius and I are the best players.' Albus said. 'And I will not risk losing just for the sake of family, so you can be on Scorp's team'

Did this answer seem just a little contrived? Was Scorpius looking a bit, well, too disappointed? She shrugged to herself and went over to stand by Scorpius and the rest of her team. Miranda was on her team too, and she winked at Rose mouthing 'We have Scorpius, we're going to win!'

Albus' girlfriend thought that Scorpius was better than Albus. Did anyone think that Rose was better than Scorpius? He smiled at her and passed her the Quaffle. His hands were warm, yet slightly damp.

Sweat? That was...strange, seeing that the game hadn't even started yet. Albus took Scorpius over to the side and quietly began talking to him. Rose didn't care much- Scorpius was so boring...the only interesting bits were that his dad and her parents used to hate eachother and now were good friends. Scorpius was nothing like the git and sour prat that dad had described Malfoy Senior as (before Draco Malfoy turned...not evil)

She and Miranda both became immersed in a discussion of the House Cup -they were both Ravenclaws- as the boys came back. 'Okay, now, all we need to do is cream the other team.' Scorpius said, smashing his fist into his palm.

Rose tossed the Quaffle in her hands and asked 'Any strategical advice?'

He rolled his eyes. 'Win.' Seriously? You couldn't win without a strategy...and a monosylabilic answer did not constitute as a strategy! But without a word, she mounted onto her broom. It was just an informal game, anyways.

It was at first touch that the broom and Rose were two completely different, uncoordinated beings. Clumsily she tried to throw the Quaffle at a tow headed boy on her team which ended up seven feet away from him- resulting in the other side getting the ball.

Scorpius, the seeker, was everywhere. His lithe body was melded into his broom, his white-blonde hair whipping in the wind as he tried to find the elusive snitch. Why didn't I notice he was such a good athlete? Rose thought.

She nearly got hit by a Bludger as Jeremy Finnigan, Beater, bellowed at her to watch it. She dodged and then tried to catch the Quaffle- she actually did catch it...with her face. It bounced off of her nose on, yes, Scorpius Malfoy's nose. His fingers, outstretched to catch the snitch that was, yes, right in front of him, grasped his nose in pain.

He actually looks a heck of a lot more attractive than any of Albus' other friends, Rose thought. Wait, why was she thinking that? Why was she thinking that about her cousin's best mate, who was supposed to be boring and ignorable? Before she could answer any more questions that her mind threw at her, the Bludger hit her cranium with a sickening thud.

Rose gasped.

Albus swore.

Rose tumbled to the ground, landing painfully on her arm.

Jeremy decided that now was a good time to inspect his fingers.

Miranda cried 'Are you all right?'

Scorpius ran toward her.

'I'm pretty sure we sould get her to Madam Pomfrey,' he said, fingers feathe. Light on her arm.

The world was fuzzy to the eyes of Rose Weasely. Everything was masked by fuzz and pain as Scorpius and Albus escorted her to the infirmary- but Rose did know one thing that was un-fuzzy at the back of her mind: she liked Scorpius Malfoy. On most days, this would have been an astonishing revelation, but today, when she was screaming and crying with pain...it was just another fact of life.

As they entered the silence of the infirmary, and Rose was laid apon a downy white bed, she gave way to darkness.

'You owe me.' Albus said.

'Nothing happened! She was supposed to fall in love with my amazing Quidditch skills, and we were supposed to end it all with one big snog!' Scorpius complained. Life was unfair. Not only did he not get the girl he wanted, but that same girl was lying unconcious in the infirmary with a concussion.

'I never said that my rules would be 100% satisfactory every time,' Albus said.

'Actually, you did. _Albus Potter's Rules to Get Girls_ is all a load of poo.' Scorpius said.

'Well, it worked for me. As you can see by the fact that I have a girlfriend.' Albus said. Merlin's beard, Albus was the best best mate ever...but he was so much like...well, Albus.

'I don't have a girlfriend! My potential girlfriend is sick with a concussion _and_ a broken arm because of your shenanigans!' he cried.

Albus put on a serious face. 'All joking aside, it is pretty bad. Uncle Ron is not going to be happy with this, I can tell you. He'll probably skin me next time we meet.'

'I'm ready to skin you right now.'

'Relax. She's probably gonna kiss you the minute she wakes up. But, if she doesn't...there are no refunds.' Albus said.

'My life is over,' Scorpius groaned.

'Remember rule eleven out of nineteen of my _Rules_,' Albus advised.

'Be confident. All girls like a confident man except for Kathy Bulstrode who just wants a free coat track,' Scorpius sighed.

'So?'

'So?'

'So be confident! And go up and see her! You need to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up!' Albus yelled, clapping him on the back. And that was what mates were for.

Everything was...ethereal. Slient in a peaceful way. It wasn't heaven, but it was close to it, what with Scorpius Malfoy's face peering down at her as she woke up. A strand of silky blond hair was obscuring his eye and she so dearly wanted to reach up and push it away.

Why can't I lift my arm? She thought.

'It's broken,' he said as if he could read her thoughts.

'Whut?' She asked. Her sleepy, groggy voice was coming out slurred and funny.

'Your arm is broken, and you have a concussion.' His voice was low and melodic, and she fell back asleep.

The next time she woke up, it was still silent, and he was still peering at her, this time with a Quibbler magazine in his hands. 'Did you know that Jessica Wrothwrite claims to have met the ghost of Sirius Black?' He asked.

'Um...' She said, hating herself for sounding like an idiot.

'And there's a chance it will rain tomorrow. Such a pity, although Professor Sprout says the Venomous Tentacula needs it. Oh, and by the way, I kind of like you a lot and would love to have you go out with me...' He said, sounding awkward, yet rehearsed and conversational at the same time.

How adorable.

'Well, I can't go out, per se, right now...but I guess when Pomfrey lets me, I would be delighted, enthralled, and euphorical.' She replied. Her heart was in fireworks and her breath was coming in short gasps.

He leaned down and for two and a half glorious seconds their lips met in a kiss, and she wondered how she could have ever found him boring.


End file.
